Sticks and stones can break my bones but words...

We can all remember growing up and either saying or hearing these words spoken. I was never one of the popular kids. I never quite fit in with most of the children in my class. I could be found playing by myself a lot during recess time. On a rare occasion, I would find someone who played with me. I think I had gotten used to moving to several schools in my very early life that I learned to not make too many friends because I would end up losing them in the end. I grew, what I thought, was a tough skin at the time. When I got picked on and made fun of I would cock my head to the side, lift one shoulder higher than the other and loudly proclaim “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will NEVER hurt me.” I would then promptly stick out my tongue, turn on my heels and march off. I was trying so very hard to show them they were not going to intimidate me. I don’t think I was all that successful because it would happen again the next day. At some point I just gave up. No amount of me saying anything was going to change the way I was being treated. The reality was, the names and words really did hurt me but I wasn’t going to let on to it.

The origin is unknown for this phrase. Matter of fact, from what I have found, the first time it can be located in print was March 1862. The Christian Recorder, a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal Church, declared it an “old adage” reciting it as being “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me.” But as most phrases morph and change over time it became something a little less grisly. Yet, somehow I find myself drawn to the original adage. There is something more powerful in the word break instead of hurt don’t you think. As a child I didn’t pick it apart. I just wanted the bulling to end. Now as an adult, I stop and actually ponder this. It has been milling around in my mind for a while now. Perhaps for a reason.

Words are a powerful thing. They can proclaim love and desires, lift up emotionally, share good news that can result in smiles, declare devotion, spread happiness, destroy relationships, kill someone’s spirit, and cause tears of joy or sadness. Yes indeed, words are influential to say the least. So the “old adage” is just that, a saying. It holds no truth other than sticks and stones can break bones. Many times we tend to think our words aren’t earth-shattering. But I think you already know that’s not the case. You’ve been deeply wounded by words. Words that completely affected your course of life, whether in a positive or negative manner. But what if it goes deeper than words said. Can the unspoken word, actions or lack of actions also cause the same? I believe the answer to that is yes.

Sometimes we are in situations where words aren’t said, action response is quick or not at all, and we find ourselves waiting for something we have no idea what. It’s all determined by the situation in a blink of an eye. We hold so much power in our hands and yet somehow I don’t think we fully realize how much. It is not an easy thing to be mindful of every spoken/unspoken word and actions/no actions. But we must be aware that no matter what we chose to do or say holds a lot of influence.

Words and actions indeed can break.

“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26 (NLT)

“The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” Matthew 12:37 (NLT)

“In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:5-8 (NLT)